wife in the north

a nice bit of comfort reading. especially during all those pumping sessions on working days when the balance is in danger of being lost to me.

if i do not work, i get lonely and depressed. if i work too much, i hate myself. like many mothers, i have chopped and changed, compromised my work, felt guilty about my mothering.

you need nerves of steel to be a parent.

judith o'reilly ~ wife in the north

in an ideal world...

...this is what i would be doing during morning nap time every single day.

kind to me

the moment i reach the point of letting go of all the rules and must do's that i set for myself, i can feel the return of true enthusiasm and passion. why should i be so strict? i know i must be kind to me.

finished~8

another lush-loaded episode...

~ hema white by nature bamboo body scrub ~ this was a present that i liked a lot. a simple and good, mild scrub.

~ weleda almond oil ~ i reviewed this one before and i still like it so much i even finished two bottles during the past months.

~ nivea cream ~ this might very well be the best hand cream there is. good can be so simple.

~ lush glögg shower gel ~ this was my christmas present to myself (it is only sold during the holiday season), and it is one of my favourite lush products: extremely warming and soothing for the early mornings of the cold months.

~ lush turkish delight shower smoothie ~ another lush favourite. i guess i will not be buying this one again soon though, as it is ridiculously expensive.

~ lush buffy body butter ~ i wonder how many of these i have already used in my life.

then the letting go

the oneness of those first few weeks...
before you know it, things start to change

and you already have to start to let go

he has now outgrown the smallest size clothes

and other people can take care of him just fine

he has learned how to drink my milk from a bottle

more and more are we growing into two separate beings

i know it is the only right and natural thing to happen

we are not one anymore

when i had children i asked them to stay -

when the weather turned bad - indoors to play

i tried to make games and be a bold friend

though strong was the call of the harsh winter wind

bonnie `prince` billy ~ then the letting go

babyville

one more deep immersion into all things baby before the real world (a.k.a. work) begins again soon... and look at my new pink pots and plants, so cute.

all i need to know

today i was breastfeeding little imp in the living room, and every now and then he fell asleep for a few minutes. then he would wake up and drink some more. we sat like that for an hour. i was in no hurry and i let him drink and sleep like that for as long as he wanted. everything was quiet, all that could be heard was his breathing. i looked around the room and i felt a surge of surprise when i saw all those things, all the furniture, all the stuff. it all looked so alien to me after i had been looking down on his peacefully drinking and sleeping little body for so long. so many things have become inconsequential now that he is here. sometimes i think my reasonal me has not yet made the shift that i feel so obviously in all my emotions. everything has changed but my mind is still adapting. there is no better time than the time of a new baby to start living according to your feelings.

smile

when life hands you a smiley face, take a picture of it. and be sure to smile back, no matter how you feel.

life after labour

apparently, telling someone that new motherhood is not always the perfectly rosy picture it is painted to be, is simply not done. people look at you as if you are suffering from a case of undiagnosed postpartum depression. but the truth is that it is not always beautiful, easy and heavenly.

another myth that must be busted: before labour, i used to believe that all young mothers knew exactly what they were doing. i presumed some secret tome would be opened to women upon becoming mothers. well, nothing of the sort happened. much of the time, i have no idea what i am doing. and i now understand that the same goes for all new mothers, even if they may not admit it. we all fake it 'till we make it.