Thursday, May 15

tell it like it is

i have talked about it before. how new mothers try to keep up appearances, both in real life and in the digital world. making all the other new mothers feel bad about themselves. and creating a vicious circle. why is it such a big deal to pretend raising young children is all sunshine and roses? why is it so hard to be honest? here is just a snippet of something i often feel but hardly ever hear anyone else express:
i feel that the bond between me and little bee is not very strong yet. it simply has to grow with time and attention, which is completely normal and natural i'm sure. and i find it hard to make any progress with this when i am on my own taking care of two small children. those times feel more like surviving, basically. and i definitely don't believe it's any different for other new mothers who are also raising an older child. you do the best you can and sometimes you catch yourself enjoying a small moment, but you also catch yourself losing your temper and glancing at the clock ten times an hour. and realising at the end of the day, standing in the middle of your toy-strewn house, that you have hardly taken the time to actively love your newborn. 
now if we could only find the nerve to be honest about things like these, that would already make it so much easier.

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